Inside the brain of stage managers who are also crewing a show in New Orleans theatre.
*The production, theatre company, characters, and scenarios portrayed in this article are fictitious buuuuuut were inspired by real life stage managing in New Orleans theatre*
By Kayln Hepting
Arrive about 1.5 hours before GO
1. “Let’s tetris these set pieces; get set for the top”
2. *taking forever to pre-set props because people keep distracting me*
3. VOCAL WARM UP!
4. *A. B. S - Always be sweeping*
5. “Why do the actors keep asking me about the plot?”
6. MIC CHECK!
7. “It’s House Open, actors check your props, crew let’s get on walkies” (Our walkies are
named after the characters from CLUE, which is just so fun... why does Mr. Green keep going missing?)
Starting the show- nothing beats a live orchestra tuning up
8. “Well that fly was really late”
11. “....that was a really long standby, so sorry”
12. “I’ll never know these songs, even after the show is closed”
13. “Do I have time to pee?”
14. “Is this when we set the wagons?”
15. “What are they even clapping about?”
...time to sit?... Time for a break? ...Nope.
16. “why is he acting so hard right now?’
17. ‘oh lord, somebody just tripped again’
18. after an actor gets a laugh, does the same thing again, MILKS IT- “Great, now the show is going to be 20 minutes longer, all because of a bit”
19. Fog machine during the quietest moment of Act 2- MEEEEEEEEEEPPP
20. Curtain Call.
finally- time to crack a beer with my crew, as is tradition.